Relationship Violence is a pattern of behavior in an intimate relationship that is used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation.
When we talk about a “pattern of behavior… that is used to establish power and control,” we are specifically talking about the repeated use of words and/or actions and inactions in order to demean, intimidate, and/or control another person. This behavior can be VERBAL, EMOTIONAL, and/or PHYSICAL.
Verbal Violence includes any use of words or voice to control or hurt another person.
|Examples of verbal violence can include:
Threats to kill
Threats to use violence
Threats to children
Accusation of “screwing around”
Calling names (i.e. whore, slut, bastard, etc.)
Leaving nasty messages on voicemail
|Making critical statements like:
“You can’t do anything right”
Emotional Violence includes any action or lack of action meant to control or demean another person.
|Examples of emotional violence can include:
Being irresponsible with money
Controlling access to money
Criticizing a partner’s looks
Unwanted sexual demands
Isolating another from family & friends
Making fun of partner
Keeping partner up all night
Manipulating with lies
Threatening divorce or separation
Constant questioning about activities
Using alcohol and/or drugs
Accusations of affairs
Keeping partner from working
Physical Violence includes any use of size, strength, or presence to hurt or control someone else.
|Examples of physical violence can include:
Kicking car, furniture, etc.
Pinning against wall
Pushing out of car
Punching with a fist
Abuse of children
Trying to hit with car
Abuse of animals
Standing or sitting on
Punching walls, doors, etc.
Attack with an object
|Use of size or presence
Standing behind car to prevent driving away
Taking car keys
Taking credit cards, money, checkbook
Clenching fists as a threat
Standing in doorway to prevent exit