Relationship Violence
Relationship Violence
Relationship Violence is a pattern of behavior in an intimate relationship that is used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation.
When we talk about a “pattern of behavior… that is used to establish power and control,” we are specifically talking about the repeated use of words and/or actions and inactions in order to demean, intimidate, and/or control another person. This behavior can be VERBAL, EMOTIONAL, and/or PHYSICAL.
Verbal Violence
Verbal Violence includes any use of words or voice to control or hurt another person.
| Examples of verbal violence can include: Threats to kill Threats to use violence Threats to children Accusation of “screwing around” Calling names (i.e. whore, slut, bastard, etc.) Leaving nasty messages on voicemail Making insinuations “Silent treatment” Sneering |
Making critical statements like: “You’re dumb” “You’re stupid” “You’re ugly” “You can’t do anything right” Yelling Insults Being sarcastic Growling |
Emotional Violence
Emotional Violence includes any action or lack of action meant to control or demean another person.
| Examples of emotional violence can include: Being irresponsible with money Controlling access to money Intense jealousy Withholding sex Criticizing a partner’s looks Unwanted sexual demands Isolating another from family & friends Making fun of partner Keeping partner up all night |
Manipulating with lies Threatening divorce or separation Having affairs Constant questioning about activities Using alcohol and/or drugs Accusations of affairs Not working Keeping partner from working |
Physical Violence
Physical Violence includes any use of size, strength, or presence to hurt or control someone else.
| Examples of physical violence can include: Pushing Shoving Biting Grabbing Pinching Kicking Pulling Kneeing Burning Stabbing Slapping Spitting Choking Shooting Spanking Kicking car, furniture, etc. |
Restraining Forcibly carrying Backhanding Pinning against wall Pushing out of car Punching with a fist Abuse of children Trying to hit with car Forced sex Throwing things Abuse of animals Driving recklessly Twisting arms Tearing clothes Standing or sitting on Punching walls, doors, etc. Hair pulling Slamming drawers Attack with an object Breaking things |
Use of size or presence Chasing Unplugging phone Stalking Standing behind car to prevent driving away Taking car keys Taking credit cards, money, checkbook Taking children Trapping Clenching fists as a threat Standing in doorway to prevent exit |